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Jedi and Marraige
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Wajeb Deb Kaadeb
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whill wrote:
The last time I was cheated on was also when I also learned the hard way (again) cardinal rule # 1 - Never get involved with anyone at work! The girl who cheated on me was with another guy at work, and I realized that I had been used to make the other guy jealous (it worked). Later the girl got promoted to my team and I had to train her. Later the guy became my direct supervisor and I literally paid for my stupidity by getting shorted on raises for two years in a row and harassed at any opportunity. The guy still works for the same company as me but thankfully we are now in different departments. But they got married and now just happen to live down the street from me. I still run into the guy at the library and local stores. I actually feel a little sorry for the guy knowing who he is married to and that that she probably still cheats and lies.


Wow! Dude, that sucks!

Luckily, the one time I hit the Horror was the only time anyone's ever cheated on me. And, that was way back.

I don't know what I'd do if my situation had turned out like yours. My girl moved away to Maryland to marry the guy that she cheated on me with, and to my knowledge, they're still married today.

I've long since got past that, and I want nothing but the best for her. I hope she's happy.

I don't know how I'd feel if, like you, I ran into them at work, at the library, at home. That would sincerely suck.
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Dredwulf60
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see the results of 'The Horror' at least a few times a week in my job. Domestic Disputes always suck, but for many people great love can flip to the opposite but equal levels of hate; usually where the perception of loss is involved. This can lead to injuries, property destruction, abductions and death.

I do NOT want to open a gun control debate; I know how dear the Second Amendment is to many US citizens, and why. But I'd like to submit that many people going through 'The Horror' are experiencing a temporary sort of insanity; insane people should not have access to weapons. Period. It just so happens that firearms are designed to be the most efficient weapons possible.

I've seen the results, and it is ugly.

I wouldn't want to have The Dark Side give that ugliness any more power.
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MrNexx
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look, [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_(1976_film)]we all know teenagers with Force powers is a bad idea...[/url]

Seriously, though, I work with teenagers. For some, it comes out of the blue, either due to the capriciousness of their partner or their own obliviousness. Last Tuesday I sat at my desk and listened to two friends lay out some of the drama that has been happening, that I only get scattered bits of (what happens in the library).

Part of the reason the Jedi have these strictures is to avoid these problems... but I think they not infrequently wind up with a problem similar to Anakin and Elsa... namely, they have a ton of power and don't know how to control their emotions sufficiently to use that power responsibly when they're under emotional stress. The Jedi teach, to varying degrees, the complete abnegation of emotional ties, but that tends to leave people unprepared when emotions flare up for whatever reason.
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garhkal
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wajeb Deb Kaadeb wrote:

Years later, and still years ago, I had a co-worker that had become a close friend. He was dating this woman from work, and then she broke up with him. The guy started going to the ice/water machine on her floor, not ours, just to try to run into her. He'd stay at work until everybody was gone, then go dig in the woman's trash trying to find some clues--to who she was dating, or the password to her messages on her phone (this was before iPhones). And, he finally did find that password, and he'd call in and listen to her messages. He got the password to her work computer and read her mail.


Wow, That co-worker has all the markings of a stalker right there..

Quote:
But sadly people have to make mistakes themselves (several times) before they truly learn.


Some people it seems, don't ever learn.

Quote:
I see the results of 'The Horror' at least a few times a week in my job. Domestic Disputes always suck, but for many people great love can flip to the opposite but equal levels of hate; usually where the perception of loss is involved. This can lead to injuries, property destruction, abductions and death.


And maybe that is WHY the jedi order put a kybosh on romantic interests in the jedi.. They saw in the general public, issues related to "the horror" and felt that if a jedi was that person, there would be too much temptation to slip to the darkside (hate, anger, jealousy etc)...
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kalamaro
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marriage is not alway cool.......

If i have a family quarrel with jedi power......hummmm.......I take a lot of dack side points and become most powerful than Vader lol

No woman, no cry lol

I understand why the jedi order take wow of celibacy......

(clarifacation, i just have a clash with my wife, i not sure to be dispationnate about this post)
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Wajeb Deb Kaadeb
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

garhkal wrote:
And maybe that is WHY the jedi order put a kybosh on romantic interests in the jedi..


Can you imagine a Jedi, with all that power, going through The Horror?

Old Anakin Skywalker was surely heading that way--and was maybe there in the early stages of it--when he faced Kenobi on Mustafar.
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Whill
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wajeb Deb Kaadeb wrote:
Wow! Dude, that sucks!

Luckily, the one time I hit the Horror was the only time anyone's ever cheated on me. And, that was way back.

I don't know what I'd do if my situation had turned out like yours. My girl moved away to Maryland to marry the guy that she cheated on me with, and to my knowledge, they're still married today.

I've long since got past that, and I want nothing but the best for her. I hope she's happy.

I don't know how I'd feel if, like you, I ran into them at work, at the library, at home. That would sincerely suck.

The girl left the company and I haven't seen her since, even though she lives down the road. But I've ran into her husband several times at work or around the neighborhood. The girl was actually friendly with me the last time I saw her, even slightly flirty, and I just hid my disgust. She not only cheated on me with him, but she cheated on him with me, and she cheated on both of us with a married man. It took some time after the guy left my department before I finally stopped catching myself thinking of revenge fantasies.

So now I harbor no ill feelings towards them and wish them the best. I never acted on my feelings of revenge but then again I didn't have Jedi powers. Like I said in my first reply in this thread, I can see why the Jedi Order would have restrictions on romantic relationships.
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Wajeb Deb Kaadeb
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whill wrote:
Like I said in my first reply in this thread, I can see why the Jedi Order would have restrictions on romantic relationships.


Looking at it in this context, I think I can, too.
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Random_Axe
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:34 pm    Post subject: Wow, if the thread-jacking is QUITE finished now... Reply with quote

It is my position as a GM, that the Jedi do not FORBID marriage. It is however, advised against. IMC, the Jedi Order is a bit like Psi-Corps in the Babylon 5 setting. The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father.

A Jedi's first and main obligation is to the demands and requirements of the Order, which may lead him to be posted anywhere at any time. This obligation may necessarily lead to personal conflict where it comes to relationships and family obligations. The Jedi Order's Obligation is primary. The Family Obligation is secondary. Always. This is a fact of their life, and this is why Padawans and Knights are counselled against entering into new family unions. Not because the Order is necessarily jealous of the attentions of its subjects, but because it is obvious that the demands will likely lead to heartache for many.
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Falconer
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Abstractly, I prefer the Jedi as a monastic order that does not marry. Ben in Ep.4 and Luke in Ep.8 (supposedly) as hermits who have withdrawn from the world to focus on the Force really works for me. But I think it’s better as a storytelling trope than as an in-universe rule. Because on the other hand it’s hard not to root for young Luke fighting to win the affections of Princess Leia and, later, the unparalleled Mara Jade. Maybe that’s fine for novices but not for masters.
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Wajeb Deb Kaadeb
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Falconer wrote:
Because on the other hand it’s hard not to root for young Luke fighting to win the affections of Princess Leia and, later, the unparalleled Mara Jade. Maybe that’s fine for novices but not for masters.


Maybe Luke was starting to realize this, and that's why he started pulling away from his attraction to Leia before he found out that she was his sister.
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CRMcNeill
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a question I've never considered...

Are Jedi empowered to officiate weddings? Because of a Jedi's status as an enforcer of the law, could they serve as minister / magistrate at a wedding ceremony?
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garhkal
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CRMcNeill wrote:
Here's a question I've never considered...

Are Jedi empowered to officiate weddings? Because of a Jedi's status as an enforcer of the law, could they serve as minister / magistrate at a wedding ceremony?


Based on the fact they can act as judges for disputes, i don't see why they couldn't do the same for a marriage.
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Wajeb Deb Kaadeb
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Up to the Ref, of course. But, Yeah, I'd say, in a culture that looks to the Jedi to officiate disputes, that they could also bless a wedding.

It might be a formality, though, with the real license coming from the local government.

And, I wouldn't think that all cultures hold Jedi in that regard--just some of them.
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MrNexx
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CRMcNeill wrote:
Here's a question I've never considered...

Are Jedi empowered to officiate weddings? Because of a Jedi's status as an enforcer of the law, could they serve as minister / magistrate at a wedding ceremony?


I think that would largely be a local matter; some cultures allow it, some do not.
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http://rpgcrank.blogspot.com/
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