Funny Stories

[Urhart the Fallen Angel]

I had a good one when the flirty guy in our group tried to sore with a psyco cyborg pirate girl, who kept kicking all of our butts. She once just kicked him in the face and he did absolutely nothing but sa that she had "a very pretty foot!" needless to say, he got knocked out in the next round.
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'God gave you grace to purge this place
And peace all around may be your fortune
Oh oh children of the land
Love is still the answer take my hand
The vision fades a voice I hear
Listen to the madman!'

[Crell Damar]

that's kinda sad, you'd think he'd take the hint that the woman wouldn't mind killing you guys...
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"For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the Empire. "

Obi-Wan Kenobi

[Robot Ron]

Once this my Gran bounty hunter was fighting Imperials in an Imperial hanger, and this one Imperial tried to kill me by swinging a crane at me, I dodged successfully, and then we were shooting blasters at each other, but we both missed. Then the crane came swinging back towards us. I managed to duck, but the Imperial was too busy trying too shoot me too notice. He got gooped. Big time. Think the scene in Indiana Jones where he's fighting that Nazi by the propeller plane...
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HELLO!!! IT IS ROBOT RON! YOU KNOW WHO I AM THO ALREDY I DID TALK TO YOU BEFORE . I DO REMEBER. IT WAS ABOT DINASORE EGGS AND YOU SAID YOU HAD THEM FOR BREKFAST ONCE.
A SPESHIAL DAY INDEID. [FOR ROBOT RON ONLY]
!!GO ROBOT RON!! [A FITE MASHINE>

[Wookie rage]

So many to choose from right? I'd have to say the best one would have been me as a force adept, my commrades as a Jedi and a trandoshan Bounty hunter. We needed pass port off the rock we found ourselves on but didn't have the kind of cash we needed. We decided that the jedi could use the force trance in the D20 system to fall unconscious and we'd just hide him in a box. Every so often he'd wake up so that we could water him and feed him. (Keep in mind that I suggested this because this poor guy is always unconscious anyways due to blaster fights.) Well our ship got boared by pirates. We offered ourselves as slaves so as not to lose our friend to the pirates when they started looting the ship. We got out fairly easily however our jedi was just waking up in the box. He waited till he stopped moving and lit his lightsaber to get out of the box. Wouldn't you figure that the container next to him was filled with explosive gas? He somehow got out of it but was in bad shape. Lots and lots of medpacs on that one. We now all ask him if he likes being watered like a plant. He's going to smite me one of these days for it...When his Jedi is strong enough in the force that he decides to turn to evil. I'm ready though.
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wookies+lightsabers=bad day

"Let's just say we'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements." ~Obi Wan Kenobi

[darthomer09]

In one mission, my entire crew was stationed on an Imp-controlled world with no transport. After killing many groups of Stormtroopers, we began to think that the GM was going easy on us and making them easy targets. After a few minutes, we found out that they were setting a trap and three of us ended up in a Star Destroyer surrounded by 50 elite Stormies.
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Rebel Uprisings

In Soviet Russia, RPG plays you!!

[Akari]

Imagine this: A holo-vid of a Defel, a Barabel, a Verpine, a Sollustan and a sentient security droid posing in matching hawaii shirts, bermudas, straw hats, shades and flip flops (!) on a vacation on sunny Pantolomin...

Happened last saturday in our campaign. Just makes me giggle when I think about it...

[Ray]

Something similar happened with my group when I was away for a bit.

Oota and his crew took a vacation to Imperial Centre.

Yes, he has an Imperial Death Mark on his head (A few at the time, I think), and, yes, it was still in Imperial Hands.

[Tatum]

Cool thread. Heres a few from some of my old sessions:

1) This is one of the rare times that I was actually playing instead of DMing. Me and my group are in a blaster fight with another large group. It was basically a stand off with no one landing, so I was scratching for an idea and digging through my equipment to come up with anything, but all I could find was a glowrod. Situation wasnt getting any better, so I figured what the h3ll, I pulled the glow rod out (it was off) yelled "GRENADE" and lobbed it at the closest group. I got a good roll, it landed right in the middle of the group, they all dove to the ground for cover, and my group moved in and picked them off.

2)This ones from a solo campaign I was running for one of my friends. He was one the most wanted men on his home planet (long story) and was about to skip out of the sustem. So, he grabs his gear and heads out of his aprtment building, not knowing that I have a full unit of officers waiting outside for him (even I didnt know how he'd get out of this one). Unfortunately for me, he ducks back into the building and pulls out a thermal detonator that Id completely forgot about. Two huge rolls for the throw and damage pretty much kills or levels the entire unit. After the smoke settles, he calmly walks out of the front door and cheeses it. Gotta love when players completely bust your well planned encounters, but at least it was funny.

3) During my early GM days one of my friends had a frickin invincible wookie character that used to drive me crazy. After a while I got pretty determined to slap him down at least once. During one of their encounters, the wookie jumps onto the side of an armed speeder truck and climbs to the top only to be shot dead in the chest by the mounted cannon when he made it over the edge. It was funny, because with all the blasts he had shrugged in the past we joked that there were bald spots all over his fur, and after this shot he had a huge one right on his chest.

4) Oh, almost forgot this one, probably the funniest. Same solo mercenary character from earlier, but this time hes playing with a group, and a pretty crazy looking one at that. He was the only human, one was a defel, one was a verpine, one was some other kind of bug, and I think one was a barabel. So, theyre working a mission on a cruise ship, just hangin out in the cantina area when the human decides to make a move on this woman hed been watching. He walks to her table, starts up a conversation, and things seem to be going well..until the other players see whats going on. Deciding that they want in on the action, the rest of the group heads over to slip their way into the conversation. Unfortunately, once the woman gets a look at this crazy looking group of weirdos she bails. Of course, this completely pi$$es the human off and he yells "YOURE ALL A BUNCH OF FREAKS", then storms off, leaving the rest of the group looking at each other and just shrugging, antennaes twitching and everything. Definately one of those, you had to be there moments

[Kehlin Yew]

two of our characters had been occupied with a previous mission, while the weakest of the four jedi in the group wants to find some Dragyte crystals, so she rolls for it (FORCE POINT)... found it on Yavin IV. (first thing that hits my mind is that Luke is being a crystal Hog... >_>) So she takes off. She keeps rolling awsomely, gets down to a pinpoint location, and ends up going into an unknown temple (keep in mind that NO ONE knows where she is). she ends up reaching out to grab the crystals and triggers a trap door. She falls about 50ft and hits the Null Gravity skill. (ill get back to this part) - the second strongest of the four Jedi is -ahem, 'busy' with his wife. - so while she is setting there hovering in the air, she uses 'Projective Telepathy' trying to get ahold of the strongest Jedi, but with a slight mishap, she gets ahold of the second strongest one(the one that was 'busy')... He is now P¡$$ed... needless to say... we went to rescue her, taking along the rest of our characters.

We get there and end up killing three Sith Night Beasts, and coming to a big door, so what do we do?, strap plastic explosives to it!, nothing.... >_>... so with a serious search roll we found a fake pannel, so what does my Jedi do!? press it... panel slides down, and there's a turn handle, so i turn it.... pannel slams up slicing my hand off, heh let me put the exact wording...

GM- "I need you to roll your dex."
Me- "that sucks, 8"
GM- "yeah, that does suck"
me- "crap, why?"
GM- "you reach in and turn it, the pannel slams up on your hand, severing it at the wrist."
Me- "ahh ok"
GM- "well atleast it wasn't a lightsaber"
me- "true, i can just duct tape a lightsaber to my Nub, nobigdeal"
rest-of-group- "your an idiot.... *rolling around laughing*"



another of those had-to-be-there kind of things

[Kehlin Yew]

One of our Mercs got captured by the imps on some god forsaken planet. so we go in, post his bail to get him out of the jail, get to our hotel. two guys are tailing us with the cheesy covers, you know hole in the newspaper, hiding in a telephone booth (maybe it wasn't a telephone, but somethin like that)

So we finally lose these guys, and get back to our hotel, get in the room, had one person positioned inconspicuously down the hall on a bench, acting like he was addicted to kessel.(all i could think of at the moment)

Then we're asking the merc all these questions when the cracked out lookout radios in and tell us there are four imp swat busses coming our way... so we're scanning all over the room... it's clean... so after about two minutes of breaking our neck trying to find out how they got us... we finally figured out they were in the room directly above us... didn't we feel like the biggest idiots ever....lol

[Allst Beamem]

I got one,

So Im running a game with 3 players/ my wife a schizophrenic pit droid that took on the pesona of who ever was needed at the time, a message droid turned assissan, and a poor clueless wookie jedi that "owned them".

Ok, runnig for thier lives as usual (becouse of one of the droids not sure witch one) thay decide to steal a parked mass transit speeder basicly a bus. I rule that even though the jedi has rep. lift ops flying a bus at break neck speeds through what amounts to Courasant is diffent that a speeder bike or a "car" and that the difficulty would be higher than he could easyly manage. So muttering some thig about needing a bus pilot the pit droid slaps on one of her "Hello I will Be your" (insert title here) today stickers on her chest that now reads bus pilot. And before any can object she has put on the pilot hat, started up the bus and, started roleing her 2D mec. Just becouse she thinks she can do any thing doesent mean that she can. and manages a 36 with the wild die.

Needless to say with that role I couldnt help but let them escape just for shere dumb luck

[Ray]

< Speed Racer >"Go Insane Pit Droid!"< /Speed Racer >

[Jedi Knight Jael Weiss]

We were once playing as a group of Gamorreans (we called ourselves the "Gamorrean Assault Force" or GAF) who went on one mission to a Strike Crusier with the purpose of killing everything and everyone on board the ship.

Well, we were successful. And in the process, all of us save one were badly wounded/incapacitated (which is considered a badge of honor among Gamorreans, as I am sure you know). The one, however, didn't get a single scratch on him at any time. So at the end of the mission he started making fun of us and taunting us for getting beaten to a pulp.

Therefore, we proceeded to beat the crap out of him until he was mortally wounded, then slapped a medpac on him to keep him from dying. We then said, "Welcome to the club!"

You should have seen the look on the face of the player. Truly it was a beautiful thing...

Jael...
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"Of the making of books there is no end, and much study wearies the body..."- Solomon

[Kehlin Yew]

Haha the Ginyu Assault Force...

that story is great

[spouse]

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